Breaking The Spell
The English language has the worst system of
spelling of any major language. Since English spelling is so hard, it is
used as a test, a rather unfair test, of a person’s carefulness and
literacy. Check every word that looks phunny.
- Robert C. Pinckert, Pinckert’s Practical Grammar (Writer's Digest Books, 1986), pages 220-23.
My father once told a joke about a clerk who
did not know the correct plural of mongoose. The clerk reportedly
sent the following letter: ”Dear Sir, Please send me a mongoose. Oh, by
the way, send me another one, too.” The plural of mongoose is
mongooses, but the Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary (10th
ed.) appends “also mongeese.” I disagree, but that is another story.
With the invention of spell checkers, you
would think that good spelling is with in (I mean, within)
everyone’s grasp. But many times I have typed form when I meant
from—and, of course, the spell checker said nothing. A high school
teacher once told me that students who interchange then and than
usually can not (oops—one word: cannot) find the error even when
told there is an error in their sentences.
Some people confuse words like proceed
with precede. Not only does the spell checker give them no help,
but worse, it tacitly says, “Yeah, I checked the word, and it is spelled
correctly.” No, it isn’t. A built-in thesaurus can help a little if you
know there is a similarly spelled word, but you probably need to know both
spellings. Plus, a spell checker cannot tell you that an apostrophe is
omitted: Books (plural) and book’s (possessive) both seem
fine to a spell checker.
Suppose I accidentally type windrow for
window. Guess what? The spell checker says nothing, because both
windrow and window are valid words. The word windrow
means “a row heaped up either by, or as if by, the wind.” Proof reading
(correction: proofreading) and spelling skills are still necessary.
On the other hand, some valid words are
flagged as mistakes—e.g., cryptogam (a type of plant), therefor
(meaning “for, or in return for that”), galop (a dance), and
harras (a herd of stud horses). Worse than this, though, is that the
Microsoft Word spell checker will be so convinced that therefor is
a misspelling that it will automatically change the word to therefore
without alerting the typist. I wonder if a law suit (another error—lawsuit)
could result from Microsoft’s tampering with this word.
Three commonly and embarrassingly misspelled
words are existence (not existance), misspell (not
mispell), and grammar (not grammer). My spell checker
automatically corrects mispell and existance, but not
Sometimes a word is so irretrievably misspelled that a spell checker cannot suggest an alternative. Generally, you can find it in the dictionary, but sometimes poor spellers cannot even do that. The moral is try to become a good speller—and keep a good dictionary nearby.
The Grammar Goddess has a small 24-page
booklet (published in 1965) from her school days that lists 38 spelling
rules and helpful mnemonics. For example, the word deductible takes
an i as in IRS. Most of these rules are followed by a list of
exceptions. I have forgotten the rules, yet I spell well by intuition. I
think most good spellers just have a knack for the process. My husband
spells like a fifth grade student, yet his understanding of mathematics is
beyond me. We are all beautiful in our own way. Incidentally, Merriam
Webster’s Third New International Dictionary (unabridged) allows the
adjective beautifuler. Yikes! Do not let authorities replace
thinking and common sense.
Time to test your spelling skills. Anyone reading this column for fun will probably do well. Good luck!
1. principle, 2. wreak, 3. compliment, 4. counselor, 5. gray, 6. precede, 7. canceled, 8. judgment, 9. aluminum,
10. supersede (the only word in the English language that ends in –sede), 11. minuscule, 12. stationery,
13. either (although dependant will get some strange looks), 14. combated, 15. spew,
16. all right (alright is substandard), 17. indispensable, 18. altogether, 19. wry, 20. analog, 21. caret, 22. discreet,
23. boundary, 24. equitable, 25. flaunt, 26. hanged (pictures, not people, are hung), 27. prescribe, 28. whiskey,
29. accommodate, 30. sergeant (unless you mean Sargent Shriver, of course).
Curiously, my spell checker could help me only with questions 5, 8, 9, 14, 15, 23, 29 and 30. If someone ever brags about being a good speller, ask him/her to spell minuscule. Mnemonic: It has the root minus (less). Almost everyone misspells it as miniscule.
A friend recently shared the following poem
with me. Enjoy!
Eye Halve a Spelling Chequer
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Missteaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
Iam shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect in it’s weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
If you would like to read more about this
topic, I recommend Beyond Language: Adventures in Word and Thought
(Dmitri A. Borgmann, 1967);
Dictionary of Differences (Laurence Urdang, 1988),
Garner’s Modern American Usage (Bryan A. Garner, 2003),
The New York Public Library Writer’s Guide to Style and Usage (NYPL,
1994), and Fundamentals of Spelling (William Leahy 1965).
Do you have a grammar question? Comments?
Suggestions? Please let me know.